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Crossroad Women and Family Services, Inc.

Post Office Box 2421, Kingston, NY 12402

Crossroad Women and Family Services, Inc.

"Transforming the Lives of Women Who Transform their World"

Healing Beyond Childhood Trauma

Did you know that most people in the US have at least one ACE? ACE's are adverse childhood experiences that not only causes harm to the brain of children it changes they way they respond to the stresses of life, compromises their immune systems and causes other chronic health conditions over their lifetime. According to a CDC Kaiser Permanente ACE Study childhood trauma and ACE places people at risk for depression, chronic diseases, mental illness, financial problems, social problems and becoming a victim of violence and sexual crimes.

Other ACE surveys have expanded the types of ACE's and those findings while not surprising are also noted below. Below are traumatic experiences linked to social, financial, mental, emotional and physical problems. 

1. A family member who is diagnosed with a mental illness or depressed.

2. Witnessing a mother being abused.

3.A family member who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.

4. Physical, sexual and verbal abuse.

5. A family member who is in prison.

6. Parental separation or divorce.

7. Physical or emotional neglect.

8. Living in an unsafe neighborhood.

9. Experiencing or witnessing racism.

10. Witnessing violence outside of the home.

11. Involvement with the foster care system.

12. Losing a family member due to deportation.

13. Witnessing a father being abused by a mother.

14.Living in a war zone.

15.Being bullied by a peer or adult.

If you have one or more ACE's you are not alone. Research shows that nearly two-third of adults have at least one. Additionally, the scores are even more revealing. For example people with an ACE score of 4 are twice as likely to smoke and seven times more likely to struggle with alcoholism addiction. Additionally, a score of 4 or more is likely to increase the risk of chronic diseases such as emphysema or chronic bronchitis by 400 percent, while also increasing the risk for attempted suicide by 1200. ACE's is also linked to chronic workplace absenteeism, ER visits, mental illness, criminal justice involvement and increased healthcare costs. 

The higher the ACE score the more likely it is that people with these scores have more marriages, violence, drug prescriptions, increased risk for broken bones, greater struggles with depression and autoimmune diseases. Studies show that the life span of individuals with an ACE score 6 or higher are at risk for being shortened by 20 years.

The impact of childhood traumatic experiences doesn't just go away as people age. Rather, what a person has lived through directly or indirectly leaves bits and pieces. Harmful traces of the past that keeps showing up has the ability to be passed down from one generation to the next causing generational cycles of unhealed trauma and strongholds.

While the brain does not know the difference between one kind of traumatic experienced and toxic stress from the other we are not stuck with stressed out brains, painful memories, chronic diseases, mental illness or substance abuse. 

It's essential that people receive an effective diagnosis from an effective team of caring medical professionals who can create qualified treatment plan so the journey to healing and recovery can begin. 

Wishing you health and wellness,

Patrina M Torres, Founder, Totally Healed International 

NCCA Certified Temperament Counselor, Certified Instructor 

School of Counseling, S.A.C.C. Certified Academic Institution


Email: [email protected]


My Blog


Determine What You Really Want

Posted on June 10, 2013 at 2:28 PM
Everyday in life we make decisions. From the moment we open our eyes until we go to bed in the evening. In every area of our lives we are constantly making decisions about what to do, where to go, how to do certain things. The greatest thing we can do for ourselves is learn how to determine what we really want. 

King Solomon made some very costly mistakes because. He pursued too many goals at the same time. He had been seeking fulfillment yet he didn't know why he wasn't fulfilled. King Solomon reached a high level of success and yet he still felt empty. Ever felt that way? 

You're winning. Accomplishing your goals, feeling like you're on top of the world but at the end of the day, when you go home at night, there is a sense of discomfort. You've had a "productive" day. You crossed off everything from your to-do list and yet, you're still unhappy.  Perhaps you don't feel that way all the time. But every now and then you sense"something is missing" and can't figure out what it is. 

Have you ever met someone for the first time and they list 15 different things there doing? OK, maybe not 15, how about 7.5 ? You get my point. This person is talking at you not to you as they give you a list of things they've done or is doing. There on this board and that board. They're running over here to this meeting and the one across town.  And you're patiently listening to them talk because you can't get a word in otherwise. In other words, the whole conversation is about them- "I" centered. 

Initially, you may think.. "Wow this person really has it going on. They're really doing great stuff".
But then you start thinking.. everything they said was about them.  

What person want to hear anybody talk about themselves the whole time? 

It's okay to want to be known and appreciated for accomplishments. But we should avoid conversations being self-centered. Find out about the other person. Let somebody else talk. Don't praise yourself. Don't believe your own press. Stay humble. Avoid exalting yourself. Let your gifts will make room for you. 

King Solomon shows us what can happen when we seek to find fulfillment, achievement, success, and affirmation by "doing" instead of being. Reminds me of the law. Grace is so much better. It's important to learn what has already been done for us. We can't go back and undo anything that has been done. Sometimes I think we try to seek approval from our parents. We want them to be proud of us. 

But that should not be our main goal. Some people had a parent or parents that they could never please. 
I mean they could not do anything right in their eyes. If they brought home a "A" on their report card, they told they need to do better. They needed to earn at "A+". Some people were compared to their brother or sister, and told things like, "Why can't you be like your sister". This is not good.

God is not like that. He's not that type of parent. He's not a taskmaster, a dictator, cruel or abusive. He's not hard to get along with. He doesn't have any issues that He's trying to work through. He is love. Love wants what's best for you. It's not so much about what we are doing. Who are we becoming while we're doing what we're doing? Who are we trying to become? Who are we trying to please?

We must avoid trying to find acceptance, affirmation and approval from people. We are loved and affirmed. We are accepted in the beloved. He has a specific plan for our lives. What's important to you? Avoid trying to please self, people, family, peers, friends, co-workers. Don't listen to those voices of the past that tell you that you're no good. You have no worth. You're just like this person or why can't you be like the next person. Life is not about comparison or competition. 

Seek to find and fulfill your greater purpose. There is a God-sized whole in every heart that can only be filled by the Creator Himself. There is also one path to true happiness and fulfillment. Seek to find your identity and discover your purpose in Him.

Until next time,
Patrina Wright

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