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Crossroad Women and Family Services, Inc.

Post Office Box 2421, Kingston, NY 12402

Crossroad Women and Family Services, Inc.

"Transforming the Lives of Women Who Transform their World"

Healing Beyond Childhood Trauma

Did you know that most people in the US have at least one ACE? ACE's are adverse childhood experiences that not only causes harm to the brain of children it changes they way they respond to the stresses of life, compromises their immune systems and causes other chronic health conditions over their lifetime. According to a CDC Kaiser Permanente ACE Study childhood trauma and ACE places people at risk for depression, chronic diseases, mental illness, financial problems, social problems and becoming a victim of violence and sexual crimes.

Other ACE surveys have expanded the types of ACE's and those findings while not surprising are also noted below. Below are traumatic experiences linked to social, financial, mental, emotional and physical problems. 

1. A family member who is diagnosed with a mental illness or depressed.

2. Witnessing a mother being abused.

3.A family member who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.

4. Physical, sexual and verbal abuse.

5. A family member who is in prison.

6. Parental separation or divorce.

7. Physical or emotional neglect.

8. Living in an unsafe neighborhood.

9. Experiencing or witnessing racism.

10. Witnessing violence outside of the home.

11. Involvement with the foster care system.

12. Losing a family member due to deportation.

13. Witnessing a father being abused by a mother.

14.Living in a war zone.

15.Being bullied by a peer or adult.

If you have one or more ACE's you are not alone. Research shows that nearly two-third of adults have at least one. Additionally, the scores are even more revealing. For example people with an ACE score of 4 are twice as likely to smoke and seven times more likely to struggle with alcoholism addiction. Additionally, a score of 4 or more is likely to increase the risk of chronic diseases such as emphysema or chronic bronchitis by 400 percent, while also increasing the risk for attempted suicide by 1200. ACE's is also linked to chronic workplace absenteeism, ER visits, mental illness, criminal justice involvement and increased healthcare costs. 

The higher the ACE score the more likely it is that people with these scores have more marriages, violence, drug prescriptions, increased risk for broken bones, greater struggles with depression and autoimmune diseases. Studies show that the life span of individuals with an ACE score 6 or higher are at risk for being shortened by 20 years.

The impact of childhood traumatic experiences doesn't just go away as people age. Rather, what a person has lived through directly or indirectly leaves bits and pieces. Harmful traces of the past that keeps showing up has the ability to be passed down from one generation to the next causing generational cycles of unhealed trauma and strongholds.

While the brain does not know the difference between one kind of traumatic experienced and toxic stress from the other we are not stuck with stressed out brains, painful memories, chronic diseases, mental illness or substance abuse. 

It's essential that people receive an effective diagnosis from an effective team of caring medical professionals who can create qualified treatment plan so the journey to healing and recovery can begin. 

Wishing you health and wellness,

Patrina M Torres, Founder, Totally Healed International 

NCCA Certified Temperament Counselor, Certified Instructor 

School of Counseling, S.A.C.C. Certified Academic Institution


Email: [email protected]


My Blog


The infidelity is NOT Your Fault!

Posted on August 3, 2015 at 3:05 PM
Dear Friend,

Where does your pain, agony and feeling of devastation come from?

From your cheating spouse, correct?


Your spouse’s betrayal is a HUGE, GIGANTIC-beyond-belief trigger.

But, let’s peel back the layers of pain and see from where that poison springs.

Here’s what those in your situation commonly think:

  • What did I do wrong? I could have been more sexy, more attentive, more caring, more supportive and the what-could-I-have-done list has no ending.
  • There must be something wrong with me! What makes me so unlovable? What about me turned my spouse off?
  • I must lack something. My spouse obviously is getting something form the other person that they didn’t get from me.
  • The other person must be better than me.

Your pain and devastation seeps from your belief that you are not only defective but you are the CAUSE of the affair!

There seems to be nothing left of you (at least something that has value.)

Allow me to interrupt.

95% of the wounded spouses I work with come to me believing most of the above about themselves.

But, those beliefs are downright lies and misconceptions.

You did not CAUSE from lack or mistakes the affair.

Your spouse’s affair was their decision and had absolutely nothing to do with your value - even though they might blame you or the marriage for their betrayal.

Your spouse’s affair had everything to do with their conflicted and ailing internal and mental state.

So, what do you do to alleviate your pain and devastation?

The first step is getting a grasp on what it was that triggered within your spouse the affair.

You must understand and acknowledge THEIR problem. 

Then you are free to more effectively address the affair and relationship.

Dr. Huizenga has researched and specialized in infidelity and helped thousands as a Marriage and Family Therapist.

His research has uncovered 7 different types of affairs (and none of them have to do with your lack or mistakes.)

These 7 types help you understand the profound, true and REAL reasons for the affair. 

Once you understand the type of internal motor that fuels your spouse’s behavior two wonderful things happen: you feel better (hey, this is NOT my problem) and you begin to formulate new ways to confront the infidelity.

Right now he’s offering you the FREE “7 Types of Affairs Cheat Sheet,” a solid beginning point to identify which type of affair best fits your circumstances and the patterns of your spouse..

This Cheat Sheet introduces you to a new world of understanding infidelity that flies in the face of much conventional advice.

Get on the right track now.

Feel better. Understand. Feel the pain evaporate.

Wishing you the best,
Patrina Wright

P.S. Dr. Huizenga gives away a number of free beginning points for infidelity recovery. However, his offers have a time frame. He will promote a free offer for a period of time, remove it and focus on another. So, if you want the “7 Types of Affairs Cheat Sheet” get it now.

P.S. Remember, it’s FREE! What do you have to lose?

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